Why marriage?

I can’t say I really have a passion about anything.  Having a passion for something requires that you focus on that, to the exclusivity of most anything else.  And there are too many things in this life, in my life, that I enjoy.  I do, however, have a strong concern and worry about the state of marriage in this country, South Africa, and in the world today.

South Africa, with our high crime rates, and stressful living, has one of the highest divorce rates in the world.

Only 35% of children in South Africa grow up living with both their biological parents. Dysfunctional families are damaging the prospects of younger generations and there is evidence that children from broken families are more likely to have relationship problems and create fractured families themselves in future.  Reference: Here

It’s quite a statistic, because we also, apparently have one of the highest crime rates in the world as well.  And we are battling.  Our economy is not thriving, and people are battling financially.  Just in our little household, we have experienced two retrenchments.  First, my hubby was retrenched, and then, not even a few years later, I was retrenched.  And although we are both now employed, we have not recovered from the financial impact that two retrenchments have had on us and our family.  And the scary thing is, we are not alone.  We are by no means unique – and many families in South Africa are confronted daily with fear with regards to the high crime rate, the high job loss rate, the high unemployment rate, and the pressure of not meeting our financial demands.

Hubby and I are living this each and every day.

And I think the silent victim of all the stress and anger and outrage in today’s society are our marriages.

I am very blessed, and I am aware of this each and every day, that I am married to a man who wants to make our marriage work.  I want to make our marriage work.  And having that mindset on our side, makes us deal with issues that arise appropriately.  Of course, there are many times that we fail, but we want us to work.  And for that, I am truly very grateful.

And then, of course, there is my own personal story when it comes to divorce.  You see, my parents divorced after 30 years of marriage.  The story is complex, and while my mother may think her biggest mistake was marrying my father, actually, her biggest mistake was in divorcing my father.  But, what concerns me the most is that two strong and vibrant Christian leaders told my mother it is okay to divorce my father – without ever having spoken to him, or trying reconciliation, or in fact, even meeting him.  Since when, according to God’s word, is it okay to divorce?  And more importantly, since when is it okay to give that advice – as a Christian leader?

Matthew 19 NIV:  When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.  Large crowds  followed him, and he healed them there.  Some Pharisees came to him to test him.  They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”  “ Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”  Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Reference:  Here

This website is geared to assist all people, from across the globe, but specifically South Africans, to focus on strengthening their marriages and their marriage relationships, in a country – in fact, in a world – where everything is designed against marriage surviving.  I will draw on resources and articles from other blogs and websites to help us give life to our marriages.

I am not qualified to do this on my own, and I need the help of revered and qualified authors and bloggers to help me.

Why fragrance?

Well, have you ever noticed how the smell of a cup of coffee can be so inviting and welcoming?  Before you’ve even tasted it?  Or how the smell of sexy cologne on your man can be so inviting?  Smell is strong.  Smell is captivation.  A whiff of the sea on a warm sunny afternoon will take me straight back to Christmas at my Gran’s house in Bluewater Bay.

And yet stench can get into everything.  Ever forget old meat in your fridge (fortunately, I never have), but basically you need to throw that fridge out and buy a new one.  Stench can destroy.

I recently read a story of a woman whose husband asked her for a divorce.  She agreed and she also agreed that he would take over their house.  As the movers came to collect her things, she put prawns and shellfish in all the curtain rods.  Her ex-husband then moved in with his new, much younger, wife and after a couple of weeks had to sell because no matter what they did, they could not get rid of the smell.

And your marriage can either be a fragrance that blossoms and lights up your life.  Or it can be a stink that takes all joy out of life.  The choice is up to you.  And I hope that this website will help your marriage to be a pleasing fragrance to you.

noun: fragrance; plural nounfragrances
a pleasant, sweet smell.  “the fragrance of fresh-ground coffee”
a perfume or aftershave.
“our fine selection of classic fragrances for men and women”
noun: stench; plural noun: stenches

 a strong and very unpleasant smell.

 “the stench of rotting fish”

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