F A I T H F U L
Today, I read a post by Sheila Wray Gregoire that really struck a chord with me. In this post, she speaks about embracing life as a unit; that God will not call you to do something with your life or to a ministry that does not include your spouse. “Including your spouse” may mean that both of you are in ministry or working together – OR it may mean that one of you is keeping the home fires burning so to speak, while the other is busy doing what they need to do with their lives. However, what isn’t God’s will is that both parties in the marriage are so busy and focused on other things, that your marriage and home life suffers because of it. Marriage is just too important to God.
Did you get that? God will not drive a wedge in your marriage. I think that is beautiful. Today, we’re still talking about being fearful in marriage, and I may just know a thing or two about fear. I have battled with fears and anxieties much of my life and I know what fear does? Fear drives a wedge – it causes you to feel unsafe in a place where you should feel the safest. For those in tumultuous marriages, this isn’t for you – this isn’t your story. This is for those like me who battle fear and anxiety when there is no reason in this world to feel fearful. And you feel fearful because you’ve never learnt to have faith – you were never given the opportunity to truly trust, to have that belief system that everything will be okay.
Fear causes you to distrust.
Fear causes you to control – to put mechanisms in place that enable you to control your fear (or perhaps to give you the illusion that you’re in control), but then you’re always looking for that control instead of just relaxing and actually enjoying your family; truly being intimate with them. You’re always hiding away – fear is a terrible thing, and it is the easiest means for the evil one to bring us down, make us ineffective, to make us live behind high walls that we think keep us safe…
I love this quote from a book I’m busy reading:
Trusting God as the perfect Father means we understand we have someone in charge who is more knowledgeable than us; stronger than us; deeply motivated to protect, grow, and nurture us; and therefore we are safe. Reference: 12 Truths to Change your Marriage – A Respect Dare by Nina Roesner.
And therefore, there is no reason to be fearful – just trust. And that is so important when it comes to marriage. It is so hard for me to trust; my parents gave new meaning to the term dysfunctional marriage. The worldview I developed as a child (and currently re-developing through God’s grace) was filled with distrust and fear, because my home environment was not one in which I could develop a trust muscle. But, God has ever been gracious to me and everyday He is teaching me and showing me that I can truly trust Him – and it’s not about what kind of man my husband is. In fact, this truly has nothing to do with my husband. It has to do with me trusting God. Pure and simple.
Marriage is hard, but so worth it, and we cannot allow fear to drive a wedge into your family life. One almost needs to be the fearless warrior when approaching marriage and just simply trust and obey God.
When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word. What a glory He sheds on our way! While we do His good will, He abides with us still, And with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, But His smile quickly drives it away; Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear, Can abide while we trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share, But our toil He doth richly repay; Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross, But is blessed if we trust and obey.
But we never can prove the delights of His love Until all on the altar we lay; For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows, Are for them who will trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet, Or we’ll walk by His side in the way; What He says we will do, where He sends we will go; Never fear, only trust and obey. Reference here.