Amazing person of strength, integrity, kindness and truth!


Wednesdays (in this case, Thursday) are love letters to my husband days.

To my love,

I love that you’re a person of integrity.  Your word matters to you and living a clean, honest life matters to you.  Yes, you have that naughty sense of humour that we all find so funny – but at heart, you’re an amazing person of strength, integrity, kindness and truth.  I see the goodness in you, the love in your heart, the strength in your character, the truth in your words and…  And I just love you.  I love you for that goodness.  I relish in that love.  I rely on that strength and trust in that truth.

Each day I am so grateful that God has blessed me with you, and with our daughter, that I am quite taken aback to be deemed worthy at all.

My prayer is to simply love you; love you that you know you are seen; love you that you know God sees, love you that you know God loves YOU, love you that you know you are loved.

Thank you for being the man who I can love, who loves me, who has kindness, love, goodness, and truth as being fundamental characteristics of who you are.

BUT loving you this way; or trying to love you this way means that I fail often.  And I know that I am failing you sexually.  It’s ironic: I can see why this need is so important to you; I can see why God created things to be this way; I can understand cognitively how all this is meant to fit together – I even blog about it.  I just can’t seem to get myself there.  So, my prayer is thus: to stop being a gate keeping wife, to take the gates off completely so that sexual intimacy can ebb and flow between us freely; like the waves crashing along the shore.  Sometimes strong and fierce, sometimes gentle and soothing.  I pray for an intimacy to ebb and flow between us that will continually draw us closer together.  

Please know that I love you for all that you are – and my failing dismally in this area is not an indication of my love for you.  In my mind, the two areas are disjointed and separate.  But, I know that isn’t how it works for you.  I feel like I’m letting you down, and I know you’re tired of apologies.  Please know that I am forever working on this – I truly believe that any situation or issue can be resolved by changing one’s thinking.  I am scouring the bible, blogs and any other material that I can find to aid my thinking being changed on this…  I want to satisfy you.   Completely.  Totally and truly

I love you.

Me…

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