Wednesdays are Love Letters to my Husband days…
To my darling,
One of the things that I love about you, besides for everything else I have mentioned, is that your attitude to life is that life is to be lived as one big adventure. There is no fear, your whole attitude to life is that life is to be lived. This weekend we’re going away, and I – as per usual – am feeling slightly nervous and anxious. You see, my love, the whole idea with fear is not having control; its living in “what if” land – a land that never actually materializes. Where I need to try orchestrate events so that I feel in control – you love the lack of control and seeing where the adventure will lead you. How I wish I could be like that.
A friend was meant to join us this weekend, but has cancelled because there will be single track (mountain biking). But, we both know this friend as never venturing beyond what he knows. And just as I was getting annoyed with his lack of adventure, this little voice inside my head asked, “But, Baby Mama, don’t you do exactly the same thing?” And yes, I do. I try control who will be there, who I will feel comfortable with, how I will handle things instead of just letting go and seeing where the adventure will lead. It is very hard for me to do – but I am learning, and I am willing.
I don’t want to have control anymore. All my control has ever done was to keep me hiding myself away from the world. I gladly hand over control to God and see where the adventure will lead. I am tired of living life hiding away.
Thank you, my love, for being such an inspiration to me. For teaching me what true adventure is all about. You have taught me so much – and I am so grateful you chose me to be your wife.
I love you.
The Baby Mama