Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I believe that in life, in our marriages, at work and at play, we are constantly sowing. Whatever we are sowing, we will reap. If you are in a tumultuous marriage, I truly believe that you will reap a good harvest if you keep sowing seeds of love, patience, kindness, long-suffering… But, here’s the kicker – we won’t automatically reap within a short time. Sometimes, it can take years before we start to see the fruit of our labour. And I use the word “labour” because very often times marriage (and I suppose life in general) can feel like hard labour.
Now, please – I am talking of the run-of-the-mill marriages, the every day “my marriage is really tough, and we’re both stubborn and want our own way” kind of marriages. If you are in an abusive marriage, you need to get help. Leave or cleave that is the answer that you seek, but for normal but tough marriages, we need to keep sowing the seeds of love.
My parents divorced after thirty years of marriage. My mother left because I came back from my honeymoon with a smile on my face (quite literally this is how this happened). The irony thought is that once my Dad went on retirement, he became the man that she always wanted. There is nothing in my Dad today, that my mother didn’t express a wish or a desire for when they were still married. She left to early – she gave up.
I know that marriage can be hard – I get that. I know that he can drive you so crazy you just want to scream with frustration. I get that, too. I know that taking two individuals, from different backgrounds, different families, different expectations and blending them into one is no easy feat.
It is hard.
Listen, to that – marriage is probably be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do. Especially if the feeling of being in-love has left and you have no more desire for your husband.
But, that is why we honour our marriages because God has called us to a higher standard, and certainly not because we feel like it. But, because God desires the world to see His love for His people and His church through our marriages.
And then, when you’ve sown the seeds in your marriage that God has said, when you’ve surrendered your marriage to God, when you start honouring your husband not because you feel like it but because God has instructed us to, then, marriage becomes easier – because you’re not in that fight mode anymore. You have truly surrendered to God and now you can trust God to take on this fight for you.
So, do not give up – sow the seeds of love, patience, kindness, long-suffering in your marriage. You will reap the harvest – and I know this is true because God’s word tells me it is true.