I am feeling so emotional this morning – the wheels completely came off and Baby Girl and I had a horrid time getting ready for school and for work. The poor child went to school in tears, and I was in tears driving to work.
Then, I get to work and I receive this email:
Thought you would like to know that your friend had a stroke on Tuesday pm (clot from pregnancy). She was declared brain-dead on Wed and yesterday pm the Dr switched off the machines. Very heart sore. She leaves behind a husband, son and daughter of 4 weeks old.
Did you read that? She leaves behind a four week old baby girl. And I thought of Baby Girl this morning, and what an awful start we had to the day, and I felt so ashamed. So, completely ashamed.
And so, today, I am grateful for:
- The privilege of being part of Baby Girl’s life, of seeing her grow up, of sharing her joys, and her lows, her sense of humour, her laughter, her cuddles. I am so blessed.
- For realizing that the small things don’t matter – that I can choose my battles, and I can go home today and love Baby Girl and tell her how much I adore her and make amends.
- For Baby Girl’s complete unconditional love for me. I know that she loves me – no matter what. I am so blessed that this little girl values me so much, that she can love me so unconditionally. I pray that I will always be worthy of her love.
- For my husband – a steady, calming influence when I am having a bad day. And after seeing all of who I am, for 17 years, he is still here.
- For my family – through the ups and downs, through sickness and health, through poverty and riches, we are still together and our little family unit works.