Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti

Ultimate Marriage Reading Challenge of 2015 – June

I think I’m a bit tired of reading – work is hectic and I’ve started running (which I am loving), but life is leaving me feeling a bit tired of late.  And so I thought I would take a break – then I saw this book.  And I loved it – just the title captivated me:

Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel.  I loved this book for one simple reason: it made me laugh out loud, because what they are saying in the book makes so much sense.  Here’s the thing – and I know this may shock you, because the world keeps telling us that we are all the same, but MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT.  Shocked?  Yeah, I know…

Right, now that I have that out the way – God created us to be different.  Our God is God of creativity and love and order: He made men and women to be different from each other, He made races and cultures to be different from each other, and He made people of different generations to be different.  We are not all meant to be the same – and it is about time we start focusing on celebrating those differences and loving and embracing those differences, instead of all trying to be the same.  Anyhoo, most of this is a post for another time and another blog…

This book highlights the differences between men and women, with a healthy dose of humour.  It is rare that I actually laugh out loud when reading, but in this book I did – a few times.

I could just imagine my husband’s poor panic when he was in his “empty” box, and I ask him what he is thinking…

“Most men have boxes in their waffle that have no words.  There are thoughts, but they don’t always translate into words.  Not all of the wordless boxes have thoughts, however.  There are actually boxes in the average man’s waffle that contain neither words nor thoughts.  To help relieve stress in his life, your husband will park in one of these boxes to relax.”

― Bill FarrelMen Are Like Waffles–Women Are Like Spaghetti

And it has helped me understand why when my husband is in his “gadget” box, talking to him about grocery shopping really isn’t all that effective.

Or why I don’t get the response I was hoping for when discussing an upcoming holiday when my husband is in his “work” box.

Or why when I asked my husband one day if he is scared of dying, he simply said, “No, I don’t think about it.”  I could not fathom that – at the time – because I couldn’t get into a box that didn’t allow me to not think about it.

But, what was even more interesting to me was the spaghetti part.  I had such a laugh a little while ago, when friends of ours came around to visit.  The wife (and mother) looked at Baby Girl’s school tracksuit top, then chatted about school – which led to a conversation about holiday club – which led to a conversation about school bags – which then led to the conclusion she forgot to fetch her daughter’s report.  All in the space of about 30 seconds.  And that is how women think.

One thing triggers a thought on something else, which reminds us to do something else, which brings up a memory from the past – it is all connected.  Somehow in some way it is all connected (even if no-one else can see the connections).  And our poor husbands desperately try to follow the connections and most of the time land up falling short.

So, what this book really did for me was to focus on how my husband communicates – to meet him where he is at.  So, if he is in his work box, it’s probably not a good time to discuss what the weather is going to do tomorrow.  So, planning those times for conversation is really great.

And to also better understand my communication style – and why everything in my brain seems to be connected to everything else.

Bill and Pam Farrel offer a ton of anecdotes and advise and explain everything so nicely – that even my connected brain can compartmentalize and understand.  It really is a good, easy read – in fact, it’s a fun read.

Do yourself a favour – get the book!  You can buy it on Amazon or directly from their website.

I will be taking a break from reading for the month of July!

Finances are tight right now, and I just want to enjoy “being” with all that I have learnt over the least six month.  I will definitely pick up the challenge again in August.


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