The Relationship Advice That Wrecked My Marriage


I am currently reading The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle and although there are parts of this book that I find very hard to come to terms with, I am enjoying the read very much.  It collaborates with my Christian views that God created marriage to operate at its optimum in a very special order – with the husband being head of the home,  and the wife submitting to his authority.  I do believe, however, that God takes into account our different personalities, and that this will work itself out in different ways in different marriages – but the baseline is always the same.

However, what I like about her book even more – even though there are parts that I don’t agree with – is the fact that it’s about control.  Or rather, about not controlling – this man, your husband, your marriage, your children.  It’s about controlling the one thing that you can control and that is you.

And reading this book fits in quite nicely with my word for the year.  You can’t surrender to God, to your husband and to life in general if you don’t trust.  And although I am not a control freak in the sense of demanding things go my way, I abdicate – I know I’m not going to get my way, so I abdicate from life.  Which IS control.

Anyway, I digress…

I came across this article written by Laura Doyle for the Huffington Post.  And it is one of the best articles I think I’ve read.  It makes sense.

Well, at least to me it does… 🙂

  1. Date nights aren’t going to work if you’re not in the space for it to work.  Start by viewing your marriage with gratitude and enjoy your spouse – date nights will probably happen naturally from that.
  2. Men aren’t big talkers.  It’s not a bad thing – its how the Good Lord above created men.  Us women love to talk – all.  the.  time.  Find creative ways to get your point across.
  3. Go to marriage counselling – most people know what they need to do to work on their marriages.  On one level its not rocket science – unless there are deep underlying issues that need to be brought to the surface or healing that is required.  But, for the most part – we know.  We may not want to do it, but we know…

For more from Laura Doyle, log onto her website and buy books on marriage.  Get your head and heart to a space where you can work on yourself enough to change the dynamic in your marriage.  You will be wonderfully surprised at how things can change and how God can answer prayer.

The Baby Mama

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