“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will,” Romans 12:2.
I find it immensely interesting that no matter what we need to do, we need to learn to think about it differently. We need to change our hearts and our thoughts, and from that, will spring the desired actions and reactions to situations in life. Any situation…
But, if our thinking is wrong – we will never get there.
For example (and this is an area that I am currently battling with): I may want to lose weight, and desire to lose weight, but if I keep thinking that I need to eat everything all the time, then quite clearly I won’t be losing any weight.
However, if I change my thinking to start thinking that I only need to eat when I am well and truly hungry – physically hungry – then I stand a far better chance of losing weight.
And I think that is why God is so much more concerned with the states of our hearts and our minds than with anything else.
Here are two more examples of mind management. A thought knocks on the door of your mind and says, ‘You’re so wonderful, the world is lucky to have you.’ Typically it’s the kind of thought you’d welcome, but you don’t do things the typical way. You submit it to the authority of Christ, and as you unsheathe the Sword of the Spirit, His Word, you learn that pride doesn’t please God. ‘Don’t cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself.’ As much as you’d like to embrace an exalted image of yourself, you can’t. You only allow what Christ allows. Here’s another example: this time it’s temptation. If you’re a male, the thought comes in a low–cut red dress. If you’re a female, it comes in the form of the hunk you’ve always admired. Temptation whispers, ‘It’s all right, you’re both consenting adults.’ If you aren’t under Christ’s authority you throw open the door but, if you are, you say, ‘Not so fast.’ Then you take this steamy thought before Jesus and ask, ‘Yes or no?’ And nowhere does He answer more clearly than 1 Corinthians: ‘You cannot say that our physical body was made for sexual promiscuity; it was made for God, and God is the answer to our deepest longings… let every man have his own wife and every woman her own husband.’ (1 Corinthians 6:13; 7:1–2 PHPS) Now, armed with the opinion of Christ and the Sword of the Spirit, what do you do? Unless the tempter or temptress is your spouse—you slam the door shut. End of story! Reference here.
My point is – start to think with the mind of Christ. This isn’t easy. In fact, I truly believe and have experienced that controlling your thoughts is probably the most difficult thing to do. But, it can be done – it requires commitment and discipline, and loads of God’s grace and guidance, but it can be done. If it wasn’t possible, God would not have commanded us to watch what we think about.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I’m not sure if you’ve seen the pattern that Pearl has put into place – it’s all about changing how you think about yourself sexually and changing how you think about intimacy.
Because we can never truly change our situations unless we start to think about the situations differently – seeing it through God’s eyes.
But, obviously there is a desire on your part to have greater frequency of lovemaking with your husbands, or you wouldn’t be reading.
My question to you is, can you pinpoint the area that most affects your libido level? Instinctively, you must have an inkling. My most influential areas are health/hormones and emotional connection.
Sometimes, we would just rather not think about it. I get that. But, denial isn’t going to help the situation. Knowledge is power. And if you can pinpoint the problem that is causing your libido to be drained, you can work on fixing it.
If it all seems a big mystery, PRAY. Have faith in Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Having trouble believing He can help you? Then, He says we can even ask Him to help our unbelief.