Today is day 29 of Jennifer Smith’s 30 day devotional, Wife After God.
“…Being unveiled is an intimate experience because you are exposing yourself, you are exposing your heart. In an intimate relationship you cannot remain hidden and shielded from the one who desires to know you. You must lift the veil, you must be transparent and honest, you must make yourself known, fully known. In doing so you will experience the extraordinary. Being unveiled is not a one-time event at the altar, whether you are getting married or marrying Christ. Being unveiled is a posture, an attitude of the heart where humility abounds. Being unveiled is a process of revealing yourself to another motivated by pure love. Being unveiled is one of the most beautiful, precious and priceless feelings you will ever encounter…” Reference: Wife After God
Because being vulnerable – in emotion, in friendship, in intimacy, in sex – with your husband allows him to truly know you, and opens up the door for you to truly know him. You may find yourself in a marriage or a situation where you cannot express that kind of vulnerability to your husband, for whatever reason. My advice is to pray and seek counselling. Perhaps your husband won’t go to counselling with you, or may even be against you going by yourself, still – seek out a mentor at church, a friend, someone who can help you through this. It is hard, so hard, to not be able to be unveiled with this one person in the world that you should be able to be completely vulnerable with. But, remember, your husband is not God and with God you can truly be that soft person that hurts so easily, because God quite simply just loves you. You never need hide yourself or feel like you need to protect yourself from God. No matter what shame you may feel, God knows your story, and He still loves you. Always, He will love you.
As for your marriage, pray – first and foremost. Then, make those small changes in you that will have a ripple effect throughout your marriage. You can never change your husband – but you can change you. So, don’t give up – persevere. The day will yet come that you can be completely and fully known by your husband. With God’s grace, and walking that walk towards what you want, each and every day – one step at a time.
And that is what we need to do. Walk God’s walk, live our marriages out in God’s way, and then let Him do the rest. Is this not His battle, after all?
God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
Dear Lord, I lift up my marriage to you in thankfulness. Help my husband and I to always be vulnerable with each other, to be safe with each other, to be gracious to each other. May you help us to increase our intimacy. Please give me the courage to open up to my husband, to talk about important matters of the heart, to share each other’s goals, and to encourage each other in great ways. I pray that I can be a wife willing to initiate sexually, willing to serve joyfully, and willing to love extravagantly. May your Holy Spirit ignite a fire in our marriage, a desire to draw close to one another and to become familiar with each other. I pray that you would soften my husband’s heart towards me and soften my heart towards him. Bless him with a desire to get to know me more. I pray against the enemy from stealing moments of intimacy, distracting us with selfish desires and tempting us away from experiencing true intimacy. In Jesus’ name. AMEN! Reference Wife After God.