Day 14:  Forgiveness

Today is day 14 of Jennifer Smith’s 30 day devotional, Wife After God.

I work hard.  I don’t mind – I enjoy my job, but I have very little time for myself, or do to anything that I want to do.  I need to have my hair cut and have been putting it off for months, because I don’t have the money now, but I also don’t have the time.  I work full time, manage all Baby Girl’s activities and schooling, do my part in the house and on the weekends while hubby is out cycling, I am always looking after baby girl.  Once again, I don’t mind, because she is a little honey, but I don’t get a time out.  I don’t get to relax or do something that invigorates me.  My hubby, however, works for himself and even though finances are tight, he can leave work early and go for a cycle – if his afternoon is free.  He has that flexibility.  He cycles almost every weekend – both days, and often has night rides during the week as well.  He spends money on his sport, because well, I think it helps to keep him sane.  And once again, I don’t mind because it is so much part of who he is.

So, you can imagine my hurt and frustration when a friend of ours, whose wife is stay-at-home mom, with both kids in school in the morning, a full-time maid, and both sets of grandparents available to assist at a moment’s notice washes her husband’s bike and I get told that I would never do that.

I would never do that, because I don’t have the time.  I don’t even get time to read, never mind anything else.  On Sunday night, hubby and I settled in to watch Man of Steele on TV, and I fell asleep.  Sitting up.  That’s how tired I was – to fall asleep sitting up, you have to be pretty tired.  And so for hubby to comment that I never wash his bike, well, it hurt.  And although this was a couple of weeks ago, it clearly is still bothering me if I’m blogging about it now.

Anyway, I just wish hubby would notice all that I do… and well, some flowers once in a while would be nice.  And I am stewing over all this on my way to work this morning, I come in to read today’s reading from Wife After God, and it’s all about forgiveness.  Yes, I want some sort of acknowledgement, some sort of thank you for all my hard work.  I would love to be a stay-at-home mom with a full time nanny and two sets of grandparents on call when I need them, but that’s not our story.  This is our story – and I know that I am working very hard and playing my part in our story.  So, what do I need to do?  Forgive my husband for his comment.  Put it aside and let God work in his heart and in his mind.  Can I do that?  Not without God’s grace.  It may seem petty in light of all that my hubby does for me, but all marriages are vulnerable and I can’t allow this issue to stew and grow.  I need to forgive and move on – just as God has forgiven me.

“Marriage is vulnerable because it is an intimate union between two sinners.  You and your husband have personal struggles and sins that impact your marriage in huge ways.  There will be times when you will fail your husband and times when he will fail you.  Without forgiveness, ruining your relationship is inevitable.”  Reference here.

Dear Lord, give me the grace to always forgive my husband, and to humbly and graciously apologise when I need his forgiveness.  May the essence of our marriage be of love and reconciliation, as we have been loved by and reconciled to you.  In Jesus name, Amen.




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