Last night I lay in bed and I could not sleep. I was warm and snug and felt safe, so I didn’t want to particularly get out of bed or anything, but as I lay there, I thought of Abigail’s post from yesterday.
And I said, in response to her post, how I am so ready to just let it go.
Abigail speaks about sex as “touching heaven”… it’s the most intimate and passionate experience we can have on this earth. And so, as I lay in bed last night, doing the shall we/won’t we dance of whether or not to approach my husband, I thought, “Do I want to touch heaven?” And of course my answer was yes. I mean, who doesn’t want to touch Heaven. And so, after a long drought, my hubby and I were intimate. And I don’t care about the mechanics of the why’s or why not’s. All I care about is that we did…
In today’s post, Abigail speaks about moving towards wholeness. And this is what I am experiencing and going through now with my anxiety – it’s about pushing through those walls, and the lies, and the doubts and moving towards trust, and wholeness and having faith that perhaps, just perhaps, God does know what He is doing and that we can actually start living this life to the fullest. Because not only does God know all, but He loves us intimately and dearly.
And it’s full of fight. For strongholds of lies to be broken. For my marriage (and yours) to thrive. For the truth of my life to be a song to the next generation that leads them to Jesus. For sex to be God’s in a brilliantly clear way that rises above the clanging of its vast degradation by the world. It’s about living whole. It’s where I begin to trust God in EVERY area of my life, even and especially in the area of sex and sexuality. It’s living radically where I push through walls of misplaced shame, paralyzing fear, and crippling doubt. And, as a wife, it’s becoming whole in the only way that I truly can—through the experience of the one-flesh relationship of covenant marriage. So, I am letting go of the holding-back kind of thoughts that would look at sex as hollow. That ‘thing’ at the end of the day that wants to take my last drop of strength. Or something meant to satisfy men and leave women empty. Reference here.
It is not easy to break through fear – not at all. Those feelings are so powerful and so strong, that all you want to do is run and hide away. Being confident in the face of fear takes every ounce of courage – but, and I am only slowly starting to see the benefits thereof, it is so worth it. Last night with my husband was so worth it. It felt gloriously good.
And as Abigail says, I cannot live my life abundantly and hold onto fear and anxiety – not just sexually – but in all areas of my life. It is time I learnt to let go, and just let God…
Please log onto Abigail’s post today, there are truths there that can change (will change) the way you think about sex and your life and any other area that you are battling with.
God Will Help You
by Joyce Meyer – posted June 20, 2014
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. . . . Those who war against you shall be as nothing, as a non-existent thing. For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, “Fear not, I will help you. Fear not, you worm Jacob, you men of Israel! I will help you,” says the Lord and your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.” —Isaiah 41:10-14, NKJV
When we start reading today’s scripture, we might think, Wow. God must be talking to people who really have their act together. The good news is that He is talking to ordinary people just like you and me. He helps us because He is good, not because we are. Fear comes against all of us, and God wants us to know that we don’t have to let the feelings of fear defeat us. We can keep moving forward in the presence of fear because He is with us. If someone has hurt you or treated you unjustly, remember that God promises to deal with them and make them as nothing at all…non-existent!! When we read that God will strengthen us that means He will enable us to do whatever we need to do today and every day. God is with you and that makes you equal to anything that comes against you. Because God is with you that makes you greater than any problem you have. Fear is not God’s will for you. He wants you to be bold, courageous and confident and you can be if you remind yourself often that you are not alone. God is with you!!
Love Yourself Today: Remember that God is with you at all times and you can do whatever you need to do.