Pure Passion :: From Duty to Beauty {Sex in Marriage}

Isn’t it sad how sex can become a duty in our lives?  Perhaps for men too, but more for women.  I think this is another attack from Satan – destroy in women what men crave the most.  And what happens?  Marriages suffer.

In today’s post, Abigail Alleman, found her beauty again.

You see, the whole sex, making love, intimacy had become a heavy-weighing duty, for me. We were married almost 11 years ago and we came to each other virgins.  It’s amazing, I know.  And so, we had an incredible beginning to our marriage!  We could not get enough, I tell you! {blush, blush:}  So how did sex become a duty–dull, lifeless, and something that made my already tired self even more so?  It’s hard to say, but I think it’s just that life happened.  For us, this has been transitions. ig transitions. Kids.  More Big transitions.  More kids.  Then, sex wasn’t new anymore and I was too tired to work through what was holding me back.  Here’s where guilt for not giving my husband what he needs and wants becomes that thief who kills and destroys.  A sense of duty and a heap of guilt are a BAD combination in the bedroom.  Reference here.

But the answer is always found in hope.  And hope is found in being intimate with your husband and with God.  I must just tell you that I feel like a total hypocrite typing this.  Because I am failing miserably in the bedroom.  I am just too tired.  It’s not an excuse.  But, it’s the one I am using.  So, I am going to take an idea from Abigail today, and I am going to continue to pray for intimacy to be restored to my husband and I.  And I will continue to pray until that prayer is answered.  I don’t care about being tired, or whatever is holding me back, I just want to be with my man.

And, now, a few months later, I can say from my heart I have seen that hope renew my marriage.  This duty-bound girl has found beauty in sex.*  I have found God in sex.  My desires are being satisfied by His goodness through this glorious gift and that renews my youthlike the eagle’s.  I’ve come full circle–back to that college girl who was awakened by Grace.  Who first experienced pure passion for God and nothing would stop her.  But, it’s full circle and more as the 20+ years since then have brought much in pain, joy, loss and love.  Exchanging sex as duty for sex as beauty is a shift in thinking that, for me, has been revolutionary.  And I know I can’t, won’t, go back to the way I was.  Because this hope is about so much more than sex or even, strengthening my marriage.  It’s about God.  It’s about eternity.  It’s about an incredible way that I join my best friend, co-journeyer, and we touch and taste Heaven.  And I believe it can fill us and our marriages with a stunning brilliance that spills out and changes the world.  Reference here.

And reading that quote today from Abigail Alleman makes you understand why this area of our lives is under so much attack – Satan would never want us to taste Heaven.  So persevere ladies (and Gents) and never, ever give up.

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