Yesterday, I read a blog post on Unveiled Wife that I could have written. Although I would not have used the same title, those hard months after Baby Girl’s arrival were very hard on hubby and I. I was so overwhelmed, and filled with such fear and anxiety, that I pushed hubby away.
The more I pushed him away, the more filled with anxiety I became.
I did not realise at the time that my anxiety and fear and being overwhelmed were pushing him away. And I too, like Jennifer Roos, tried to focus on other things – to ignore the underlying sense that something was wrong because there was just so much going on, I couldn’t deal with it all at once.
Fear, like a flood, was washing us away and heaving at the strong anchor of our marriage. Reference here.
I remember when I started this job, I logged online to look for blogs to help me with all this anxiety that I was feeling and instead God took me to blogs that opened my eyes. He opened my eyes. He made me realise that how I was treating my hubby and new little family was not the way to go. It was not the way He designed marriage or family life.
And as I read Jennifer Roos blog post yesterday, I found myself filled with such gratitude at what God has done, and what He will continue to do. I still battle anxiety – every now and then it rears its ugly head and I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (reference).
But, God has started me walking on this bridge to cross the divide that I created – to meet my husband, to love him and cherish him. And I thank God that he did that – I logged on to look for blogs on anxiety – He took me to blogs on marriage. And Hubby and I have come such a long way, and it excites me to think about how much further we can still go.
Over the next several months the Lord showed me that recapturing trust and building a new foundation of love and vulnerability in my marriage would take time. God began a work in me that eventually poured out from inside and overflowed into my life and marriage. Reference here.
The truth is this: If you are willing to entertain the possibility of being happily married, you will open the door to much greater joy in your own relationship. Reference here.
If I can encourage you to do anything, it’s to fight for your marriage, whatever the cost. Great marriages don’t just happen. You have to fight for it. Marriages drift. Intimacy leaks. Romance fades. You have to fight for these things. Reference here.
So when I am feeling anxious again, or worried about things I cannot name or understand, I say to myself out loud – Baby Mama, trust in God. See what He has done. See how hard He is working on your marriage, in your life, in your job, in your mothering – because He loves and treasures you, your husband and your child. Trust in the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Because He is your God, and He loves you, your husband and your child so much.