Recently, I posted about the importance of having fun in your marriage. And yes, it is important, but how does one go about doing that? Well, first, it has to be a mindset. Decide – very definitely – that whatever it is you are doing with your spouse, you are going to enjoy it and have fun. Otherwise you’ll be watching the most hilarious sitcom ever, and not even laugh…
1. So, the most important thing to do is to decide that whatever it is you do, you will have fun and enjoy yourself. And then just let the rest go – just for this little while.
2. Speaking of sitcoms, why not watch a few? Seriously, what is with all this drab and macabre The Walking Dead, NCIS, CSI, etc (all of which I love, by the way), but I’m not exactly going to laugh and enjoy and have all these feel good feelings from watching murder and mayhem. So, remember to laugh. A lot. If you forget how, rent stand-up comedy DVD’s or watch sitcoms.
3. Remember that there is an enemy in your marriage, and your spouse is not him. I never used to believe that Satan was interested in marriages – but now I do. If he can destroy a marriage, the effects of that are far reaching. So, remember who you are battling.
4. Have a regular date night that only gets cancelled if someone’s in the ER. Or have time together. Regularly. Just talking. Baby Girl is now at the age that when she comes home from school, she gets to colour in and play with Play Dough on her own, and it gives hubby and I some great opportunity to just talk. About our day, what’s happened at work, what’s happening for supper, etc, etc, etc…
5. Get counselling. Or coaching. Something that gives you a safe place to fight and heal. Or read blogs – not just any blogs – but choose from the myriad of blogs where the bloggers have a passion to help save marriages.
6. Go on double dates. It’s date night with added laughter and conversation variety!
7. Spend the first 4 minutes every day cuddling together. Alone. This reminds everyone in the house your marriage is the priority.
8. Have sex. Often. More than just when you “feel like it.” Schedule it if you have to! This is so important to having fun in your marriage – when you feel that connection that comes from making love, having fun and laughing is that much easier to do.
9. Every once in a while, ask each other four things: What does your spouse want you to do more of? Less of? Start doing? Stop doing? Never assume you know each other’s minds completely. God did not make us to be mind-readers. He made us to be communicators. So let’s stop pretending our spouses know what’s going on in our heads and let’s just start telling them.
10. For long-standing disagreements, find a way to take care of your needs. There will always be issues that you will never agree on – you are two very different people from two very different backgrounds. And that’s okay. Get emotional closure, even if you don’t get closure on the issue and know that it’s okay to “agree to disagree”. But don’t let the issue come between the two of you.
11. Censor marital advice (i.e. ignore naysayers). Surround yourself with people who value your marriage as much as you do. See point 5 above re: reading blogs. Some of my favourites are:
12. Decide to stay. In God’s word, divorce is not an option, so your choice is either to be happily married or unhappily married. I hope you choose the former option…
13. The way you act in first three months of a big change isn’t indicative of the rest of your life together. So don’t freak out when you’re both funky around a new baby, new job, relocation, death or illness.
14. Get away every once in a while for at least 24 hours. Just focus on the two of you – just once in a while. It is so important to do that. So, nice to be able to finish a conversation without having the most beautiful four-year old in the world interrupting every five minutes. So, nice…
What other ideas do you have about having fun in your marriage? Share them below in the comments section.