I have a friend whose husband works on the chokka boats. They have a little boy – also a Singleton like our dear little Madam. And they are also cash strapped, as we are. However, I get to have my husband with me. My friend, however, is playing single parent while her husband has to work on the chokka boats to make a living.
It can’t be easy.
Not only do you have to adjust to doing everything on your own when your husband leaves, but you have to re-adjust to doing everything with him when he comes home.
I would rather battle with my husband, than have to keep changing what or how I do things depending on whether he is home or not.
But, couples in this situation don’t have a choice. My friend doesn’t have a choice – and I am quite sure she would too rather have her husband home with her than have him out at sea for long stretches of time. So, what is it that we can do to make sure that we maintain marital intimacy in these situations?
Well, in today’s post of 31 Days to a Better Marriage, Carlie Kercheval gives some excellent advise on how to handle this. And Carlie should know – she’s a military wife. And her husband can be deployed anything from 12 months to 18 months at a time. This can not be an easy life.
Pray, pray, and pray. It is of utmost importance that you pray for your husband and pray together to keep that divine, God-given connection you are called to walk out in your marriage. My husband and I pray for one another every single day we are able to communicate with each other.
Be completely honest with one another. To some this may seem like common sense, and to others terrifying. It is absolutely imperative that you are completely honest with your spouse with the good and bad things. Does that mean that you give them a play-by-play of your day down to the second? No. It simply means that if anything that could hinder your relationship comes up – tell them. Tell them in the way that you communicate best.
Go out of your way to make your spouse feel special. This will mean different things to different people. What is your spouses love language? If you know it, “speak” it to them every chance you get. If you don’t know their love language, check out Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” and it will open your eyes to one of the most magnificent ways to communicate with your spouse!
When you are physically together, don’t deny your husband physical intimacy.
Forgive. Real forgiveness, the kind only found in the life and heart of our Savior Jesus Christ, is essential in marriage. Make it your mission in life to forgive your spouse – being an example of God’s love no matter the circumstance. If you ever find this hard, read John 19 in your Bible, I guarantee this will get your focus back where it needs to be!
Don’t let loving and connecting with your husband stop when is home. Continue to implement these simple steps to ensure ease of application while your spouse is away. Believe me, if you do these things, it will make a lasting impact on your marriage and teach everyone watching you (children, family, friends, etc) that the love of God is real and biblical marriage is possible!
Remember what I keep telling you – never underestimate how important marriage is to God. And how important it should be to you too.