Day 19: How I Discovered Respect

Respect is not easy.  Especailly when you totally disagree with your spouse’s point of view.  And you want your own way.  Its so easy to go haywire and start demanding what it is that you want.

But, God has called us to respect our spouses.

In today’s post at the 31 Days To a Better Marriage Series, April Cassidy tells her story about truly learning to respect her husband.  I  have a suspicion there is much I can learn from her story.

God showed me a MOUNTAIN of my own sin that I had been completely blind to (here are just a few):

  • PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE – thinking I knew better than Greg all the time, that I was always right, that my way was the only correct way of looking at anything, and, honestly – I thought I knew better than God, even though I doubt I would have said that.

  • Idolatry – I put feeling loved by my husband above Christ in my heart.  And I also trusted myself much more than I trusted God.  I didn’t consciously say these things, but that is exactly how I lived, as if I was sovereign and in charge of everything and everyone and as if God was a small, little wimp.

  • Disrespect – I had NO idea all the things that are disrespectful to men.  I had tried to verbally force my husband closer to God by criticizing, lecturing, arguing, insisting, nagging, complaining and bossing him around.  I had actually pushed my husband away with my disrespect  – and I never knew I had hurt him.  He didn’t say a word about how wounded he was, or about my disrespect.  He just shut down.

  • Unforgiveness, resentment and bitterness – I held on to all of these things.  They were a toxic poison.  Jesus says God won’t forgive me if I won’t forgive others.

  • Reference here.

Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to admit that our actions and thoughts hurt those that we love the most.  Even if we don’t intend to hurt them.  We just simply want our own way.  God gave husbands a very direct command as leaders of our home – and we need to trust and respect that God knows what he is doing.


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