Day 18: Differences in Marriage are Always There


I recall reading in the early days of our marriage, that you are trying to combine your life with someone who was raised differently, thinks differently, eats, reacts, and lives differently to you (even if you’re the same culture and race).  And making that combination work can be hard.  The article then went further to say that you can either fight against those differences, or you can learn to accept and embrace those differences.  After all, you didn’t want to marry a carbon copy of yourself?  How boring would that be?

In today’s post at the 31 Days to a Better Marriage series, Angie Benjamin knows all about differences.  Not only are her and her husband two very different individuals (as we all are), but they are from two very different cultures, races and two different continents.  And, if they can make the differences in their marriage work for them, then you can too.

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years and differences have surely come up in all senses.  To start with, we face the first evident difference: He’s a man and I’m a woman …that’s the problem, the opposites attract…but don’t forget they’re still OPPOSITES.  Second, my husband and I were raised in totally different backgrounds:  he comes from a very traditional humble African family and I come from a very traditional Mexican Family. And though our cultures share lots of similarities, they are still quite different in other aspects.  Reference here.

The three most important tips I can give you when solving differences in Marriage are:

  • 1.  Go to His word
  • 2.  Welcome the differences, with this I mean that there should be an open mind about the differences.  Hey, my culture ain’t perfect and his culture ain’t either and I have learned to “reject” or give up on several aspects of my own culture and adopt the good ones from his.  Philippians 2:2 (New International Version):  Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
  • 3.  Be willing to compromise.  It doesn’t always have to be done your way.  Give it up.  After all, that’s what love is, isn’t?  1 Corinthians 13:5:  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
  • Reference here.

Remember, it is God who brought you two together – but it is up to you two to stay together, by being committed to God, and to each other.  Love is a choice and working on understanding and embracing your differences – no matter how big or small – is also a choice!

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