I was so excited to write about this, I couldn’t wait for tomorrow…:-)
You see, I believe that God has intervened, not just in my marriage but in me. So, let me tell you my story – much of it you can read here and on my other blog, http://babymamasblog.wordpress.com/, but in a nutshell, I was battling severe anxiety after Baby Girl was born. Anxiety was the tree sprouted from seeds planted throughout my life and the stress I experienced after Baby Girl’s birth were fertile soil for that anxiety to just bloom and grow. And the one issue that has always plagued me is that when I am feeling anxious, I start to choke – if I choke, I cannot eat, if I cannot eat, I feel sick and the whole cycle just starts spiralling downwards. And so, after Baby Girl was born, and hubby had lost his job, and I had lost mine, and I had absolutely no sleep for three years, and my mother was playing the most awful mind games with me and I had absolutely no support system at all, I went through an awfully anxious phase.
And I could not seem to break the cycle.
After a bad night’s sleep, I would get up in the morning, and the ill feeling from the lack of sleep would send me spiralling into an anxious filled day, which meant that every meal was a battle.
And you can just imagine how all of this affected my marriage.
And so, somehow – I can’t even remember how – I started to read blogs. Lots of blogs. From amazing Christian women across the globe about how to have a happy marriage and how to battle anxiety. And then I started to read about how important marriage is to God, and how important my peace is to God.
Do you see what was happening? Without me even realising it – God was intervening. He knew that blogs were the best way to get my attention and get my attention, He certainly did. And He helped to me to start nurturing my marriage after the negative impact of all that anxiety after Baby Girl’s birth.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Reference here.
And slowly but surely, I started to walk away from all that anxiety and put into place a mindset that would help my marriage grow stronger, to battle anxiety and to walk in peace. As Joyce Meyers says,
Think about what you are thinking about.
Battling and choking at almost every meal time had dire consequences and now, through God’s grace, I am making my way back.
So much so, that the one aspect that is still somehow plaguing me, is the idea of eating alone with my hubby. I fear that I will start choking and all that negative impact will come flooding back like a Tsunami. And we’ve come so far, that just the thought starts to fill me with dread.
In December we were very blessed to have been given two night’s away (on two separate weekends) just the two of us.
And you know what?
It was amazing. Not only did we dine together quite happily, we chatted and spoke and really just connected (and no, we didn’t just chat about Baby Girl – we actually had conversations about many other topics). It was amazing.
And so God intervened.
In today’s post at 31 Days to a Better Marriage series, Tehila speaks about her own marriage struggles and how God intervened. You see, I think we as a human race underestimate just how important marriage is to God.
Tests To Know Whether Your Marriage Has Improved
Have we arrived at a perfect marriage? Of course not. But there are few experiences as bonding as when we look back long enough to praise God for the large and small victories that He has brought us through. And doing so, gives us the strength, motivation and hope to continue on the path that He has laid out for us on this Earth together, as a team. If you are struggling in your marriage, think about the areas in which, as a couple, you have progressed.
- Three years ago, you would have been so angry when your man was late, and now you are far more understanding and tolerant.
- Five years ago, it would have irritated him when you reacted in a certain way, and now he responds lovingly instead.
- Ten years ago, you would argue in the car all the way to church, blaming one another for this and that. Yet now you arrive peacefully, having overlooked the other’s faults.
You see, you have come a long way! Further than you realize. God is working in your life, and He has chosen that very man you married for you, because God knew that your specific husband would be the absolute best instrument to transform you into the image of His Son!
And for me, it is being able to enjoy a meal with my husband and just sit and talk. Without any anxiety. I know there will be days and moments to come where the anxiety will be a little more than a distant memory, but I love my husband and I love God, and so I will keep walking this journey and keeping thanking God above for all of His grace and mercy that He intervened. And I will pray that He continues to intervene – because He is God and He does know best.
New International Version (NIV)
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.