Day 8: From Mess to Bliss: 7 Tips That Saved My Marriage

Cover of "Prayer (Ivp Booklets)"
Cover of Prayer (Ivp Booklets)

Marriage is hard work. Very hard work. One of the best pieces of advice I received just before hubby and I married was this: To treat your marriage as a business. And if you want a business to succeed, there are some strategies you could implement that could guarantee your businesses success, and the flexibility required to withstand economic pressures.
And it is the same with marriage. There are things you could do that will greatly improve the chances of your marriage working.  And not just working – happily working.  And there are things you can do that will greatly improve the chances of your marriage NOT working.
In today’s post, Sunu Philip on Jolene Engel’s 31 Days to a Better Marriage, gives some excellent advice:

1. Make God Truly Your First

No man, or other human being, on the face of this planet can completely fill us and make us feel whole.  Only God can do that.  Don’t rely on your husband to fill God’s role.  And only God has the power to truly answer your prayers and your heart’s desires.

2. Give Up the Feeling of Spiritual Superiority

Do you know that I have a three year Diploma in Theology from Rosebank Bible College in South Africa?  Do you know, of course, that this means I know everything?  Of course it does.  How shaming it is to finally realise that I actually don’t know anything – and that three years of Theology training can often quite mean that my husband know’s more and has more insight into many of life’s issues that I could only hope to have.

3. Respect Him and… SHOW it!

I often think I do.  But clearly I don’t.  Well, not enough and not in the way my hubby needs me to.  Last night words were spoken and hubby made some serious accusation about how this house (family) has no regard for him and all that.  I resisted (am resisting) what he was saying.  But, obviously hubby needs more from me than what I am giving at the moment.  I just pray that God will continue to mould me and make me into the wife that will glorify Him and that my hubby needs me to be.

4. Keep Your Mouth Shut

As a former teacher, I have a tendency to correct and instruct.  God taught me to listen more and speak less.  When you feel like correcting or instructing your husband, REMAIN SILENT and ask God to cover him.

5. Thank Your Husband Often!

Fortunately, I do thank him.  I don’t know if its often enough, and I don’t know if he even hears or listens to it, but I am very conscientious about thanking him.  And I am grateful for all that he does – I just hope HE knows that!

6. Be Submissive – Even in Everyday Things

This is a very difficult one.  I am a very quiet person by nature, but being quiet about issues doesn’t mean that I am being submissive – it just means that I am being quiet.  Hubby loves a headstrong woman, a woman who can think for herself and look after herself – he finds it very attractive and sexy.  So to find that balance of being the wife that hubby finds sexy and attractive, and being submissive is a very fine balance I am still learning.  Even after 14 years of marriage.

7. Pray and… Pray Some More

Praying for your husband is the ultimate love language.  Stormie Omartian got it right!  Prayer changed our marriage and gave it a new depth.  I did a 31-day prayer challenge (again!) which covered all vital aspects of being a husband.  I now ask him everyday how I can pray for him.  He in a way feels secure that I have him covered with God.

Prayer is  THE most powerful gift God has given us.  It’s the motivator and the encourager to get God to move on our behalf, and it changes us in the process, and it changes situations.  When you have no other alternative, and it feels like life is at its worse, just pray.

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