Day 5: In Sickness and in Health, Respecting Your Husband Through Cancer

network of diseases
network of diseases (Photo credit: DrJohnBullas)

I am very blessed to let you know that my husband and I have never, ever had to face the big C.  There has been no thought, no concerns or issues in this regard at all.  Fortunately, hubby, myself and Baby Girl are very healthy individuals – and hubby cycles and mountain bikes, and we tend to watch what we eat quite closely to ensure that we are healthy.  Now, that’s not to say that we haven’t battled illnesses before.  We have.  And I am terrible when I am sick and terrible when hubby is sick.  When I am sick, I just want to be doted on and have loads of sympathy come my way, but at the same time I just want to be left alone to wallow in self misery because I am ill.  However, when hubby is ill, he must just get over it and get on with it.  I love attending to him, but there are many other things I’d rather be doing than looking after someone who is ill.  Perhaps it is because my mother loves illness so much that I just want to shy away from it.  Perhaps not.

Perhaps looking after someone who is ill is just plain exhausting and it is much better to be out and about having fun.

But, we all do get sick.  Sometimes its a minor illness, like a tummy bug, or a bout of flu.  And sometimes its far more serious, like cancer, or Pneumonia…

But, what I really appreciate about today’s post in Jolene Engel’s 31 Days to a Better Marriage Series, is this:

The first thing I learned is, I’m not the only one fighting this.  In the words of my husband, “He has cancer too.”  Reference:

And that is just it – when one person in your family is ill, whether it be your husband, child or even yourself, you are all ill.  Adjustments have to be made to look after that ill person and life in your family cannot continue as normal.  It is something that the family as a whole needs to deal with.  And of course there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to do this, but I think the most important thing is to always make sure the family unit stays intact.  Especially when you are facing life-threatening illnesses that can so easily tear the family unit apart, it is vitally important to do what you need to do (and only you will know what that is because it will be different for each family) to keep the family unit together.  Especially when it is a parent who is ill and the only stability the children will now experience amidst all the fear and insecurity they may have to face is the fact that their family is still together.

Wives, we each have unique roles to fill in our marriages.  No matter what were going through, let us live out those roles to the best of our abilities with the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, pushing us forward to greater things in Christ’s name.  Let’s take our eyes off of self and onto our husbands, encouraging, respecting, and loving them to be the men of God called them to be, no matter what the cost.



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