Day 1: A Marriage that is Not of this World

Marriage-cross-Christian-symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is a Christian marriage supposed to look like?  Does it, in fact, NEED to be different from the world?  Do we not put too much pressure on ourselves to confirm to a standard of what we think marriage should be like?  I really like what Dr Phil says in his book, Relationship Rescue.  With some serious paraphrasing, he basically says that your marriage needs to work for you – for both of you.  So, basically, if you always want to take a holiday by yourself, and your spouse is completely happy with that – then do it.  If you hate doing pottery classes with your spouse, then don’t do it.  Forget what other people say, and make sure your marriage and your relationship works for you.  You don’t need to confirm to any standard the world gives you (I hate celebrating Valentine’s Day – I find it boring and cumbersome and expensive.  And hubby totally agrees.  So, why celebrate it just because the world says we must?  When we can have perfectly romantic days any time of the year, just because… do what works for you.)

Having said that though, we do have a higher calling on our lives (which will then affect how we conduct ourselves and our marriages) by virtue of the fact that we are Christian.  And because of that fact, our marriages are guided by what God says on marriage and on who we are.  Therefore, marriage – at least the Christian marriage – is not of this world, but from God’s word.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:2 (NIV)

As Jolene Engle says in her post, marriage is hard and life is hard, and many non-Christian marriages may seem to have it easier than many Christian marriages.  But, we need to remember that God has ordained marriage, and He created it to be fun, sexy, and challenging so that we may grow as individuals and as a couple.  Even if you weren’t a Christian when you got married, the fact that you are now and that you want to live your life by this higher calling means that your marriage is now from God –  and God is very, very protective of marriages.

Mark 10 – Divorce

Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judeaand across the Jordan.  Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.  Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

“What did Moses command you?” he replied.

They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”

“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied.  “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’  ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’  So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.   He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.  And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

So, before we get caught up in how hard marriage can be, and should we stay or should we go, we need to remind ourselves constantly that our marriages are not of this world – and that we need to renew our minds on how we think and what we think of marriages in order for us to have successful marriages.  And sometimes that comes easy.  And at other times, it won’t be easy.  It’ll be very, very hard.  But, it is what God has called us to do.  And I would even go as far as to say not just to Christian marriages, but to ALL marriages.

Since Jesus Christ is everything I live for and because He’s the Ruler of my heart….

I want my marriage to reflect Him;  a marriage filled with grace, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, and love towards my husband.

The world’s marriages don’t have the power of the Living God residing in them, but mine does.

The world’s marriages don’t have the ability to love and lay down their lives for their spouse, but mine does.

The world’s marriages don’t have the Word of God guiding them into all Truth, but mine does.


If the Christian story of the world is true, and if the Christian concept of marriage is real, this is precisely how the gospel works its way into us and helps us.   Marriage is a means through which grace is pushed deeper into our lives than we would on our own.   Marriage is a means to get at the deep deceptions that dwell in us because of our God-loss.  And a key component of this view of marriage is that this grace comes to us in any kind of marriage.  Bad or good.  Fulfilling or unfulfilling.  This grace is the realization that Jesus Christ is a spouse that marries the wrong person on purpose.  He marries people who are not lovely, but he loves them into loveliness.  Finding out you married the wrong person may be the only way you can figure out how much you need to accept Christ’s marriage proposal to you.



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