I am so excited, I have just seen the most amazing post on the different seasons that marriages go through and it is so what I’ve tried to tell everyone all along (it’s so exciting when famous bloggers and authors totally agree with what you’ve said – kidding) – I read it at Unveiled Wife, and the message is what I have tried to say (except I’m not a writer and I’m not very articulate in expressing myself – seriously). You see, I really believe that in today’s world, people give up too easily. And why not? I mean, the media, society and just about everyone else tells us it’s okay to give up, it’s okay to pursue happiness at the expense of your marriage, it’s okay to make this be all about you. And why not? If I am unhappy in my marriage, why shouldn’t I leave and find something better elsewhere? Why should I put up with all of this stress and anxiety and whatever else – to what purpose?
God has called us to a higher calling, that’s why!
And yes, you may be going through a really rough patch right now, but you may just be giving up on the most glorious sunrise after your stormy night in your marriage – and you’ll be missing out. And waiting for that sunrise is so worth it.
Mark 10 – Divorce
Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
“What did Moses command you?” he replied.
They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
No matter how awful or painful your season of marriage now is, God has called us to stick it out. The sunrise to your storm will be so worth it.
As Jamie on Unveiled Wife says:
Like many brides-to-be, I received a lot of advice when I got married. They were short and sweet.
Don’t go to bed angry.
Pick your battles.
Don’t compare your marriage.
They all seemed so tried and true. They all seemed like good advice to a young and passionate couple who were madly in love.
Looking back though – if there was one piece of advice I wish people would have told me before I got married, it would be…
You Will Go Through Seasons Of Marriage, Don’t Give Up!
Because seasons are longer than days. Longer than moments. Longer than just an argument. Seasons stretch over weeks and months. Seasons feel like they take forever to change again. Seasons can change you. They can even scar you.
Ecclesiastes 3:7-8 describes seasons of life. That there will be:
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
There are too many seasons to name. Seasons of better. Seasons of worse. Seasons of growth. Seasons of barrenness. Seasons of passion, of intimacy. Seasons of loneliness and angst. If you’ve lived through even a year of marriage, it’s likely you have experienced a season or two.
I wish they would have told me that seasons change.
I wish someone would have told me – not to give up during a bad season. Not to despair during the loneliness or hurt. I wish they would have told me that love can blossom again and that God can restore a broken heart. I wish they would have told me that people can change for the good. I wish they would have told me to wait, be patient, for just a little while longer because the season of dismal fog was about to burn away. And when the bright Morning Star burned the fog away – our marriage would be stronger and brighter and deeper. More meaningful.
I’m thankful He showed me these things. Because now, when I recognize a season of suffering or stress bearing down on us, I remind myself that this won’t last forever. I tell myself that even though we may be suffering now, the glory He brings is just a season away.
And, I wish they would have told me that when you are in a season of passion and joy, remember to throw your head back and laugh and enjoy the ride. Smile. Be joyful. Be thankful.
And regardless of the season you’re in, never forget to worship the Lord your God for your blessings.
Please share this advice with Brides-to-be or wives who need a little encouragement!
This wonderful blog post was written by Jamie, whose bio you can read on Unveiled Wife or on her own blog, at So, I Found God. My heart leapt when I read this, because it is exactly what I have tried to say all along. Please let all new brides (and some older ones too…:-)) or brides-to-be know (and their husbands) that marriage is hard – and there will be some good days and some not so good days. In fact, there may even be some good years and some not-so-good years, and some downright awful years. The thing though is to never give up. Hang in there when you’re going through that bad and stormy season, it’ll all be worth it in the end.
How amazing is that?